Saturday, 5 March 2011

Excitement Fest!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!

12 DAYS BABY!!

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Kellogg's Crunchy Nut: Ludicrously Tasty

Now, as you may already have realised, I have posted a post with this same title previously. This is because the festival is coming up again! Feb. 28th! Are we excited? Yes? No? Maybe? Comment!

Now, these past few years I've had a LOT of emails saying things like, "How can it be the festival now? It's February! The last one was only five months ago!" so I'm going to go ahead and explain how this is so right now!

This is how the Crunchy Nut festival works: it must occur around every five months, but not necessarily exactly five months. See, it must occur at any random date during the fifth month from the one in which the previous festival took place. So, if you had one in, say, November, the next one would be at some point during the fifth month from November, which is April. The exact day in April is determined by whomever happens to be Canadian Fruit Chief at the time, which, currently, is Derek. The next one will occur in September (five months from April) and the next in February (five months from September), which is where we are now. Derek chose the 28th because he wanted to have it on the 29th, but as it is not a leap year the 28th was the next best thing. Do you see? So will you uneducated (cereal festival-wise) people stop emailing me and calling me inaccurate now? Or will you continue to insist that I'm getting the basics of the whole thing wrong? I hope not.

Brace Yourselves...

Derek and I are officially getting married on the seventeenth of March, 2011, not the fourteenth. Hotel Kamp turned out to be booked then. Isn't that just awesome? The seventeenth is a Tuesday! I <3 Tuesdays!

And, by the way, I've lost my favourite fleece, one that my grandmother gave me before she died, and I think I left in Helsinki, even though I've been back for months now. Now, I don't really need it anymore as I am a toucan and it no longer fits, but it held great sentimental value to me and I really would appreciate it if it were returned. So, please, to all the Finnish people out there, if you DO find a blue fleece that has a little green badge on it that says "Morphinus Creekenstein IV" on it, could you send it to me? Being a toucan, I don't really have a fixed address, so if you could send it to the Canadian Fruit Castle that would be awesome. I'd prefer not to reveal our exact whereabouts online, just for safety because we ARE being hunted right now, just write "Canadian Fruit Castle, Canada" on the package. Any good postman will know where it is. We have a deal with the postmen, so there's nothing to worry about with them. Thank you.

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Party at Mine

There's going to be a party at my house tonight, and anyone and everyone is welcome. You all know where I live.
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Monday, 13 December 2010

Okay, this is kinda embarrassing...

In my last post I told you I was getting married in Hotel Kamp, right?
Well, I didn't tell Derek about that.
And now that I have, he pointed out to me that we can have the wedding reception in Hotel Kamp, but you can't have the ceremony in a hotel. You need a church. So, yeah, I'm not getting married in Hotel Kamp. I'll just be celebrating my marriage there. So, we've been looking for a church, but unfortunately, most churches over there are not as open minded as some of the ones over here in Nurfenville. They refuse to marry cold beverages and birds. When they told me that, I started yelling at them and calling them fascists until Derek told me what fascist meant and I started calling them racists instead. They threw holy water on me. And I'm actually kind of scared because it really, really stung. Derek keeps making fun of me, but I'M NOT SATAN, OK?!

Saturday, 11 December 2010

BIG news... and lots of it.

Firstly, the marriage. I'm getting married in... (drumroll, please...) HELSINKI!
Yeah, it's this awesome place called Hotel Kamp over there. Check it out...


Pretty awesome, huh?
You can see the website here: Hotel Kamp

Secondly, I've solved the mystery of Sir Grinkledorf and the sheep. He revealed it all to me.
Basically, he saw what was going on, and he took over the sheep to try and change their ways, but he couldn't tell them that, otherwise they'd kill him in an instant, so he had to pretend to be evil as well. He was too afraid to even tell me! They recently discovered his ploy, however, and he fled. Derek, as kind as he is, allowed him CFS membership.

Lastly, but DEFINITELY not leastly, he also gave me a membership! Yep, that's right! I'm an official fruit fanatic! I don't know when I've ever been this happy!

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

I'm Afraid

I've been trying to look past the Bulgarian sheep from Essex's mildly unpleasant qualities (eg tendency to commit genocide), it's getting harder and harder. Today, Derek told me that they tried to attack the Society! I mean, how could they do that? Sir Grinkledorf is their leader too! He won't tell me anything, but he's insisting it isn't what it looks like. I've been believing him all this time, but, honestly, how do I know he's being truthful? Those Bulgarian sheep have been trying to run down the society for years. All but six of the members have been either killed or chased away. And having witnessed and partly caused the death Winifred Flammel, I can tell you that's not a nice thing to do. Would I excuse him of this monstrosity if he had not been my most loyal friend all these years? Of course not.

But I can't bring myself to believe that Sir Grinkledorf would ever, could ever, be involved in such a thing. He simply must have a reason. But the pickle I have been left in is all the police are searching for the one behind all this. Should I turn him in? I trust him, with all my heart, but whatever reason he has for doing this, isn't it better all this comes to an end? I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this, but no matter how good it was, no court would excuse him for what he has done. What should I do?